It Begins...

My son is 7 months old. I miss our nursing relationship severely. So as of Sunday Dec. 3 I am going to try to re-lactate and get that bond back with my son. I decided that having a blog to log it all down would be a good way to a) share our story and b) keep me accountable.

Austin was born on May 2, 2006 at 7:43 pm. He weighed 7 lbs 6.4 oz and was 20.5 inches long. I think it didn't quite click at first that this was my son. I was in an epidural/labor haze that didn't want to lift right away. To this day it pisses me off that I (nor my husband) wasn't the first to hold our son, but alas you can't turn back time. Fast forward to our first nursing.

I'm by no means a small woman. I was a 18/20 pre-pregnancy wearing a 42 DD. Nothing small about me. So I was a little nervous about how I was going to manage to nurse my son with these giant melons we call breasts without suffocating my son. I was assured it can be done (and I know it can!) The nurses helped me get him latched on and we did pretty good the first night, but I was easily frustrated and exhausted (4 days of back labor will do that!) and was ready to give up. The nurses promised me that I'd get a visit from the Lactation Consultant the next day.

My visit with the Lactation consultant went alright. She showed me how to hand express and how to use my hospital issued hand pump. She tried to help me latch him on, which we did, but I never could quite get it right. I tried to tell her and the Dr. he was tongue tied ( I should know because I am) but no one listened. Now you can see it very well, but I wouldn't want to put him through all the pain of getting it cut (mine never was and I'm just fine) So I think that that is part of why we had trouble.

First few days home from the hospital I pumped like a mad woman. If he wouldn't latch on then I would just have to get the milk to him another way. This is the day he was introduced a bottle (yes you can just here the doomed music playing...) I struggled with breastfeeding for 3 months. I tried to get him back to nursing and off the formula (second worst f-word in the world) so many times, but I just couldn't do it. Part of me thinks I was just to lazy at that point. Now I beat myself up for it.

That's going to change however. We're going to persevere and get back to nursing. Even if we never get off the formula in the SNS. And even if my supply never comes back. We will nurse.